[REPOST] The Worst Songs & Albums Of 2021
Just terrible.
Continuing my monthlong quest to repost all of my old music lists on this blog, we have the worst albums and songs and albums of 2021, first published on January 7th, 2022. Only minute changes to grammar and context were changed. As always, a link to every track and record is included with each entry.
Check out the original website here!
ORIGINAL FOREWARD: In 2021, I did my best to stay happy, and that included avoiding bad music. To my credit, I think I did a pretty good job. But, alas, some truly abhorrent albums and songs made their way into my ears. Here's 5 songs and 10 albums from 2021 I heard so you don't have to.
Worst 5 Songs Of 2021
“Beautiful Mistakes” is as tasteless as you’d expect from a modern Maroon 5 song, but what takes it over the top is how they desensitized one of the best rappers working today. Megan Thee Stallion sounds like she was faxed these lyrics at the last second and put in the least work possible. She deserves better and so do we. Maroon 5 doesn’t though. LISTEN
If there’s one thing worse than listening to GVF, it’s listening to them for 8 minutes. The closing track on The Battle of Garden’s Gate goes on and on, swapping between Led Zeppelin imitations and Rush imitations at will. If the song sounds familiar, it’s because it sounds no different than anything GVF have ever done or probably will do. LISTEN
Of all the awful moments on OK Orchestra, the opening track is the worst. It’s a complete mess, switching tempos, instruments, vocal distortions and more for no apparent reason. There’s no rhythm, there’s no cohesion, it’s just a giant mess. And don't worry, it includes plenty of cringey lyrics and performances that an AJR song wouldn't be complete without. LISTEN
Dated from the second it came out, “Bad Habits” sees Ed try to make a seedy synthpop hit while still using his tired themes of forbidden romance. It doesn’t work. The hook is irritating and the lyrics are as banal as ever. Moreso, the general feel of the song is that of a synthpop track that would’ve been popular about a decade ago. It’s another misfire for the king of misfiring while staying popular. LISTEN
There were two songs about boobs that I heard in 2021, and while neither of them were good, Kim Petras at least had fun with hers. “BRAND NEW BRA” is a chore, a tongue in cheek song that sticks its tongue so hard it punctures the cheek. It’s not funny, not even a bad kind of funny. It’s just bad, and it’s truly the most banal song I heard in 2021. GFOTY can’t figure this out and I’m left here to suffer for it. LISTEN
Worst 10 Albums Of 2021
“Kiss Me More” was a false alarm after all. That hit single couldn’t carry the album it previewed, and Planet Her is a big time disappointment. Between stale pop rap beats, a series of guests who don’t sound like they wanna be there, and Doja phoning it in on most every song, this is a rap event that never really materializes. LISTEN
Speaking of rap events that sucked ass, CLB is maybe Drake’s worst album yet. He’s totally resting on his laurels, not trying in the slightest to make music he hasn’t made before. Instead it’s an overlong slog of boring song after boring song, and the big hits don’t hold their weight against past hits like “God’s Plan” or “Hotline Bling”. Drake didn’t even put “Laugh Now Cry Later” on here, which easily would’ve been the best song. When will these misfires end? LISTEN
A misguided attempt to sound like their peers, Modest Mouse falls flat on their face with their latest record. Whatever psychedelic groups that MM try to replicate are clearly deserving of better, and these songs aimlessly jump between rock and psyche and synth with no real flow. It’s disappointing to see a group that was once so revered fall to levels like this. LISTEN
The best thing about Welcome To The Madhouse is that Tones And I didn’t put “Dance Monkey” on it. No song on here is as bad as that ear bleeder, but that’s not to say it is good. WTTM is more of the generic and boring dance pop that’s flooded radio stations these days. Some of the songs hint at themes of insanity and loneliness, only to pivot to a party song one track later. Tones and I’s voice is still grating as well, rendering this record as a can (and should) miss. LISTEN
Yet again, GFOTY tries the ironic hyperpop angle and misses the mark. Picking what’s worse between the cheap beats or GFOTY’s scatterbrained voice is the toughest thing this album asks. It doesn’t matter if she’s singing about tits, fish, her sofa, the beach or anything else, her voice is nothing more than an irritating noise. It remains to be seen if GFOTY will ever actually succeed at this kind of stuff, but I guess good on her for trying. LISTEN
DJ Khaled seems to get the worst out of his collaborators rather than the best like a good artist would. Every artist featured here (and there’s a shit ton) doesn’t sound particularly interested in anything but collecting a paycheck, and it shows throughout Khaled Khaled. To the guests’ credit, the beats Khaled provides are so unoriginal and boring I couldn’t find much inspiration either. This is music made to be heard as bumpers before TV commercials, much to our collective chagrin. LISTEN
The most offensive part of Poster Girl is how inoffensive it is. Seriously, this is one of the most tasteless, bland pop projects I’ve heard in a long time. Zara’s voice is as stiff as they come, putting us to sleep over snooze-inducing synthpop beats. The thing that makes this more of a shame is the promise that Zara has shown on other songs she’s been featured on. Why put more effort into those short bursts than on your full length album? This album is bad, but it’s the expectations that weren’t met that makes it worse. LISTEN
Ah, the three brothers strike again. OK Orchestra is more of the same misguided and overblown pop vomit AJR has been making for years, but with a few new terrible wrinkles thrown in. There’s plenty of cringeworthy lyrics about the pandemic from some guys who barely know how to write about themselves. There’s cacophonies of sounds that make no sense when put together. There’s of course the obnoxiously busy instrumentals for every song, and don’t forget the usual painfully juvenile lyrics about being sad and depressed. It’s incredible that these guys have attained so much popularity while doing the same terrible thing over and over again. LISTEN
Who does Maroon 5 even make music for anymore? They’re years past their prime, but they’re not making the kind of music that made them popular. They chase trends all throughout JORDI, picking the blandest of pop songs to turn into their own. It’s a slog, an album stretched far too long past an acceptable point. The host of guests phone it in, and to hear a rapper as good as Megan Thee Stallion distilled into Maroon 5’s formula is just gross. Get these guys off the radio and away from my ears for the rest of time. LISTEN
Utterly lacking in anything original or interesting, The Battle At Garden’s Gate proves one thing: not only can GVF rip off Led Zeppelin, they can rip off Rush too. Finding any vocal performance here that doesn’t ape off Robert Plant or Geddy Lee is a fool’s errand, and the instrumental play is so painfully by the book it’ll snooze you. For an album with a title so wannabe epic, there’s nothing big here other than failure. LISTEN
Top 50 Albums of 2021: https://cfreemon.substack.com/p/repost-the-best-50-albums-of-2021
Top 100 Songs of 2021: https://cfreemon.substack.com/p/repost-the-best-100-songs-of-2021
2021 Honorable Mentions: https://cfreemon.substack.com/p/repost-2021-honorable-mentions-songs
Top 5 EPs of 2021: https://cfreemon.substack.com/p/repost-the-best-5-eps-of-2021